One of the simplest and most exciting ways to add some spark to your sex life is to get down in a new place. At the 5Cs, we’re lucky enough to live on a large campus with beautiful palm trees, soft grass, mountain views, lots of buildings, and warm weather year-round. I’ve heard many a story of your exciting adventures that make good use of this sublime setting—even one of a near-death experience.

In fact, this column was originally going to consist solely of your own tales, but people are understandably shy and nervous about publicly revealing the places they’ve had sex and the stories surrounding them, even anonymously: responses to my online survey were few and far between. I did talk to enough students in person to gather a pretty good idea of where around campus couples have gotten hot and heavy, but, again, none were comfortable with me printing specific details of their escapades.

There seem to be secrets that many are reluctant to give away, like that one door that’s always unlocked to that room that no one knows about that has couches and a sweet view. According to California state penal code 647(a), public sex is also illegal: you are guilty of disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor, if you “engage in lewd or dissolute conduct in any public place or in any place open to the public or exposed to public view.” Whether people are embarassed or afraid of getting in trouble, it seems many of our campus’s most daring sexual exploits are destined to anonymity.

However, sex in a new place is just so thrilling, and such an easy way to mix things up, that I couldn’t ignore the topic. People have been relatively adventurous at the 5Cs, taking advantage of fields, showers, rooms, hallways, benches, sidewalks, trees, tables, and balconies. So for this week I’d like to provide you with a few intriguing places where other people have had sex; nothing too specific, just a general idea (wink wink). Remember, neither the government nor TSL endorse public sex. So do with them what you like, and get dirty at your own risk.

Secret Garden (Scripps) – Orange trees, flowers, fountains, and beautiful architecture make for a perfect background for a romantic afternoon. It’s small and private, and it’s easy to keep an eye on the entrance in case you need to quickly pretend that you were just bending over to smell the flowers. Daytime-only hours make for an interesting challenge, but more than one couple has been known to find a way around those pesky doors.

Honnold Mudd Library – With so many different stairwells, study spaces, rooms, and bookshelves, the library is a classic place for college students to have sex. Just watch out for people looking for a secluded space to actually study. And you’ll probably have to stifle your moans—after all, it is a library.

Skyspace (Pomona) – Beautiful lights and the sound of flowing water, plus plenty of surface area on the benches, practically beg for some after-dark loving. The marble benches and the fountain are cold, though, and unsuspecting visitors tend to come at odd hours to watch the lights.

Academic Buildings – Without mentioning anyplace too specific, academic buildings contain a variety of rooms that are often deserted. Some lounges have comfy furniture, and some rooms are soundproof and lockable. Watch out for late night studiers and cleaning crews.

Marston Quad (Pomona) – The quad is surprisingly poorly lit at night, making it easy to blend into the vast, dark lawn. However, visitors can come from all sides, so just stay still and low to camouflage into the ground until they pass.

Japanese Garden (CMC) – Dark, small, and intimate, the Japanese Garden is another little-known location on campus. But, there’s only one way in and out, so a quick escape isn’t really possible.

Pub Dance Floor (Pomona) – Everyone has witnessed the lascivious “dancing” that goes on at 5C parties, especially in the hot and sweaty Dom’s Lounge on Wednesday nights at Pub. With all the bumping and grinding, people can’t help but get turned on. More than one person has reported getting skirts and pants zippers out of the way to get even freakier, likely heavily influenced by alcohol. But this is as public as public can get, so unless you want to guarantee getting caught, this might not be the best venue for sex.

Dorm Showers – Get clean and dirty at the same time! On a cold day or night, crank up the heat in one of the many semi-public showers at the 5Cs. There are a lot to choose from, varying in size, showerhead pressure, and privacy. Bring some lube, as water tends to wash natural lubricant away, and get ready to work your leg muscles to stay standing without slipping and sliding.

Remember, be safe, be clean, and be respectful! And also be stealthy, in case you need to duck under a table or behind a tree. Public sex is risky, but can definitely be fun and exciting. Just make sure that titillating story doesn’t end with a misdemeanor charge.