Yuppie Trappings Swamp Unsuspecting Consumers

By Todd Anderson

Ermine quilts. Woven leather bread baskets. Biscotti cappuccino latte cinnamon garnish. Peruvian canine sweaters. Titanium alloy door knobs. Fur-lined glacier goggles. Iguana therapy. Mechanized aluminum mango holders. Pesto-roasted garlic parmesan gorgonzola sun dried tomato toothpicks. Freshly-ground pepper, delivered to your door via horse-drawn carriage. [con't]

We’ve Got One Word for You, Son: Plastics

By Colin Platt

Do something with yourself. Get a job. Cut your fucking hair–no one’s going to want trash like you in their office. When are you going to start making some money? Try supporting yourself for once. You can’t make a living with a major like that.

It is doubtful that any of you are entirely unfamiliar with such suggestions. Perhaps your parents expressed their philosophy on life in a similar vein. Or perhaps you feel a nagging, subconscious impulse directing you to a fate of financial success, and you find yourself wondering whether a life like that would be fulfilling. [con't]

Would-be Dorm Decorators Overcome Adversity

By Noah Helpern

The residents of the third floor of Smiley came to a conclusion earlier this year: the white fluorescent lights lining our ceiling were sapping our will to live. Our solution was to insert colored paper under the plastic covering of the lights. By using different colors of paper along the length of the hall, we created a rainbow effect. It was, in a word, breathtaking. These new lights rejuvenated all those who lived on the hall. We spent many hours admiring the transformation of Smiley III: shithole to Shangri-La. [con't]

Global Capitalism Threatens Dependent Economies

By Chris Bissell

This week, protesters gathered in Seattle to protest a convention of the World Trade Organization. These protesters represented a range of interests, including trade unions, environmental groups, and various political organizations. Violence, rioting, and looting broke out because of, depending on who you ask, either protester aggressiveness or police action.

Because I do not wish to draw hasty conclusions in the direction of protester malevolence or of police brutality, it is my intention in this article to focus on the issues behind the WTO protests and to make some suggestions as to why the mission behind the WTO, global free trade, is a capitalist utopian vision which is deceptive in its intuitive "rightness." I present my arguments with the understanding that in this short amount of space I will inevitably make gross generalizations, and I welcome feedback, alternative pictures, and refutations. [con't]

Historical Guilt-Tripping Promotes Victimization

By Peter Cook

Race and ancestors, and those things which we did not make ourselves, I scarcely consider as our own." —Ovid, Metamorphosis

Our society is one of victimization. It seems that nearly everyone is looking for some way in which they have been oppressed, or some reason why others owe them certain things. In many cases, this self-victimization hinges on the idea of one’s race, one’s gender, and one’s ancestors. [con't]