| Claremont, New Jersey |
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| Volume I Number 1 |
 Photo by Ashley Jack |
inside (get it? like sex?!?) tsl Arts & Features:
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Fraternities Exposed In TSL Bust
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Random Fraternity 6969 Sheepfucker Lane Claremont, CA 91711 To "Enter" <Random Frat> (Get It? Sex?!?), Get Max. Points: 1. Picture of Fred Sontag, tied up. (300 points) 2. Hooter Shooters through any football player’s man tits (50 points) 3. Picture of you showering with Dave Roth (100 points) 4. Panty raid while wearing smoking jackets, smoking chesterfield cigarettes, and a pair of those Groucho Marx type glasses on Lawry C Tower’s top floor. (75 points) 5. Cooter Shooters through Brendan Flynn’s mangina. (1 point) 6. Be able to sing all of Sammy Hagar’s new solo album while funneling Zima!!! (10 points) 7. Filling all of the campus’ Wedgie Hooks with Nerds. (200 points) 8. Being a mysoginist frat boy who terrorizes animals (500 points) 9. Putting Roger Caron in a headlock and having this conversation with him:
10. Convince a girl to pledge next time around (1000 points) Go To It, Boys! Love, Your Brothers |
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Clearly from this dictum, pledging Random Frat this year was quite competitive. Kudos to those who made it through! The anti-KD theme of much of the dictum was a bit curious and no member of Random Frat was willing to comment for this story. However, an unidentified member of Kappa Delta assured us there will be reprisals next year. Oh, more sporting fun for our frat-inclined friends. Don’t forget to include the new sorority–we’d hate you to be sexist about your tomfoolery! Just keep your toilet paper rolls and pie-smashing away from these two gents. Cheerio, till the next toga/fiji/motown/ formal/semi-formal/semi-semi-formal/tractor pull /jockpunkrock/karaoke/Celine Dion rally, we mean party!