Teddy Schall: The Man, The Scandal, The Mystery...The Legend

AndyPants, Munchkin, & BriBri

We lick Tedward Michael Q. Schall a whole lot. We lick him so much, in fact, that we devoted an entire Hotmail account to him. You, too, can let Teddy know how much you wanna fuck him by sending suggestive e-mails to silk_teddy@hotmail.com. We suggest addressing him by terms of endearment such as Tedward, Silkk, Silky Ted, Man O’ Red Teeth, and Lova-Boy. Teddy doesn’t put out so much as at all, but we love him nonetheless. Our all-time best wet dreams have been of the Silkster: Silk playing pinball at the Coop, Silk’s teeth stained red by sweet-ass kosher-for-Passover wine at Halona during the Jewish holiday. [con't]

Sheeplove: Finding Inflatable Love On the Web

The Shocker

Everybody knows that sheep look good. You know it, I know it, Stanley knows it, Friedersdorf knows it, Phi Delta knows it, Silk Teddy knows it...in short, everybody knows it. So why are we afraid to talk about it, people?! Why are we afraid to admit what’s only natural?! Sheep are H-O-T, hot! [con't]

ADL Marches on Pomona’s Campus: Misprint Cited

Conor Friedersdorf

The Anti Defamation League staged a protest on Pomona’s Campus last Wednesday to voice opposition against aPomona College Press Announcement advertising a speech by an individual named "Heil Gerard", scheduled for the anniversary of Adolf Hitler’s Birthday. Hordes of militant protesters gathered around Pomona’s Administrative building, Alexander Hall, to voice outrage against the apparent cultural insensitivity. [con't]

Guerilla Thug Syndicate: Zoo York Real Life Trifeness Vol. VII:

Picture Me Flossin’ (Roc-a-fella/Ruff Ryders Edutainment/Universal)

Those of us who have been there since the beginning know how good it must feel to be a member of the Guerilla Thug Syndicate (GTS) right now. After years as New York street soldiers, struggling and hustling and rhyming about their guns, after numerous self-produced EPs and LPs (including the infamous unreleased "New York’s Loudest" EP, a collaboration with M.O.P. and DJ Evil Dee that contained so much yelling that several were injured by exploding woofers from car speakers), they finally are kicking back, popping some cristal, and learning to enjoy the non-trife life. [con't]

Get A Life or at least fake it

Another KSPC Blowout Sureshot, featuring Eve 6, Creed & Natalie Imbruglia: Grooveline, right here; to get there, do as KSPC’s new slogan says: "follow the sounds of today’s hottest hits!"

Ozzy Osbourne Spoken Word: Ozzy will talk on a wide range of things, absolutely none of which will be intelligible. House of Blues, 8430 Sunset Blvd. West Hollywood (213-848-5100); two shows, 8 pm. and 8:40 pm. 21 and over. [con't]

The Bev-Niner Update

Frederick Sontag

Bev Niner Rocks, yo!

I watch it every week.

Don’t Like it? Fuck off!

The best character

Is Kelly Taylor. She’s Hot!

I want to bone her! [con't]

Andrew "Pants" Jennings tries to dislodge a hanger from the vending machine. You can express your appreciation by calling x76309.