Bev Niner Rocks, yo!

I watch it every week.

Don’t Like it? Fuck off!

The best character

Is Kelly Taylor. She’s Hot!

I want to bone her!

Where did Brenda go?

She’s hot in that "trendy" way.

I’d hit that shit, yo.

And Donna Martin.

She looks kind of retarded,

But, yo, I’d tap that.

Donna: please make up

Your mind. Big breasts or small

ones!

What does Noah think?

Your nose is fugly,

Donna. It leans to the side

Like my gross penis.

Andrea Zucker-

Man. Her name’s too fucking

long

To be a haiku.

Steve Sanders is blond,

Just like my dream Adonis.

Not that I’m gay, yo!

If I were a "gay,"

I’d totally bone Dylan.

But I’m not. Shut up!

Brandon Walsh! God damn!

I’m heterosexual!

If I weren’t: Yo, Walsh!

I’d be your dream man.

I’d put "6" back in "Niner."

But I’m not gay. Noooooooo!

So in conclusion,

I’m straight and shit. But Brandon?

Dylan? Want to Fuck?