Base Jumper Becomes Uncomfortably Intimate with Pavement by Smith Tower
By Chump 'N' Hump
Editors Extraordinares

At 1:15 pm last Tuesday, innocent students walking to class were shocked to see that it was raining exceptionally corpulent men. “It was suddenly dark and when you looked up, there was this mound of cellulite eclipsing the sun,” said Jay Schneider ’04. What Schneider and others witnessed was the first jump of Pomona College’s brand new Base Jumping club. Open only to first-years and started by Josh Clavelle ’07, the BJ club inaugurated its new members by jumping off the Smith Clock Tower.

Clavelle started the club back in October when he noticed that he and his fellow hallmates were gaining an unhealthy amount of weight. “I thought, what would make us fatties feel skinny? Then it cam to me BAM! The absolute weightlessness that accompanies freefall,” said Clavelle. “We also thought that our added weight would help, ’cause then we’d fall faster, and the faster you fall, the less you weigh. Ask any physics major.”

Even in extreme sports circles, base jumping is considered a dangerous sport. It certainly proved itself to be so on Tuesday, when one unfortunate base jumpers chute refused to open (see picture). Shit.