CMS Athletics Dept. Okays Stripping as New Intermural Sport
By Lolo Dingles
Sports Gopher

Last week, after intense deliberation, the CMS athletic department approved stripping as an inter-mural sport. Though stripping is generally regarded as an affront to any woman with a brain, students and faculty disregarded criticism, retorting, “No one seems to have a problem with cheerleading, why the sudden touchiness when we decide to crank it up a notch?” In fact, one of the main difficulties in passing the stripping proposal was the concern that this exciting new sport might draw participants out of the cheerleading constituent.

This anxiety was resolved, however, when a poll of the three campuses revealed that 50% of the student body expressed interest in becoming inter-mural strippers, with 90% being self-proclaimed “hot chicks” from Scripps and 10% being male students at Claremont McKenna. Harvey Mudd students simply ate the questionnaire. With such unanticipated support for stripping, it may be possible to make it a year-round activity.

“I love taking my clothes off in public!” said Scripps student Morgan Clark ’05. “My friends and I strip for fun anyway, but I never realized I could be considered an athlete because of it. That’s way sexy!”

In response to questions regarding the objectification of women and the adherence to commercialized constructions of beauty, Clark had this to say, “You misunderstand. For us, stripping is a way of accepting our bodies and feeling beautiful. She added, “I hope none of the freshman fatties from Pomona start a team. Gross! Hehe!”

Speaking of Pomona, another hurdle remains in the development of Scripps stripping—competition. Although there are weekly amateur contests at the Peppermint Rhino, this does not represent the sort of “team effort” in clothes-removal that the Scripps ladies want to achieve. Said Alice Jenkins Scripps ’05, “We hope that we can have competitions between CMC and Pitzer.” Why not Pomona and Harvey Mudd? “Mmmm, no offense, but the girls at Pomona and Harvey Mudd are kinda ugly...I mean, nobody wants to see that.”

Apparently, the stripping uniform will be identical to the cheerleading outfit. “Cheerleaders are seen as pretty sexy, so we thought it would be even sexier to have girls dressed as cheerleaders taking off the uniform, “ said Clark. “I know it seems like a leap, but since a lot of us are cheerleaders, we don’t have to buy new outfits.”