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Admissions Office Unfair to White Males
By Floral Acknadden
Helper Monkey
For years Pomona has touted its standards
of equality and diversity in the demographics of each
incoming class. Lies, all lies. It is startling to see
how one of the most misunderstood and underrepresented
groups in the community is continually shoved back in
favor of recruiting other citizenry. Pomona, I challenge
you to put aside your stereotypes, and finally embrace
as brothers the people you have neglected for so long:
America’s affluent white males.
The Admissions Office has covertly been
avoiding this confrontation despite increasing evidence
that the rich-upperclass-male, or RUM, has been denied
equal consideration in applications. This has led to
the rallying cry of “But why’s the RUM gone?”
among those who have managed admission despite discrimination.
The powers that be, with their blatantly disproportionate
policies, have not succeeded in killing the activist
spirit of this culturally sensitive group.
Students,
Please Keep Getting Alcohol Poisoning, Please
By Ron Tilsnip
Owner, Pomona Valley Medical Center
First of all, I want to offer my thanks
to you, the students of Pomona College for all you’ve
done to make the Pomona Valley Medical Center what it
is today. A hospital is only as successful as its patients,
and I count myself lucky that my hospital has the continued
support and patronage of Pomona College students nearly
every weekend. Yes, business is booming these days,
all thanks to your cold, limp, alcohol-poisoned bodies,
just waiting to be resuscitated for a price.
| Rant
Farm
A
weekly screaming ground for biased, uninformed,
short-winded rage. |
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This
Almost Ran as a Real, Non-Joke Story
By
Jimmy "The Face" LaSorda
High Roller
I am appalled at the differences
between Pomona College and Las Vegas. After visiting
Las Vegas for the first time over Fall Break,
I’ve been noticing the many ways Pomona
College could improve by doing things the “Vegas
way.”
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Everybody
Should Just Die: For Reals
By Spider Jerusalem
Cranky Bastard
It’s been a rough semester. There’s
been plenty to hate, and plenty of it has already
been addressed in this section, but your Uncle
Spider still has some venom left to spew, so you
might as well let me get it out of my system.
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Eulogy for Walter
the Goldfish
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