Admissions Office Unfair to White Males
By Floral Acknadden
Helper Monkey

For years Pomona has touted its standards of equality and diversity in the demographics of each incoming class. Lies, all lies. It is startling to see how one of the most misunderstood and underrepresented groups in the community is continually shoved back in favor of recruiting other citizenry. Pomona, I challenge you to put aside your stereotypes, and finally embrace as brothers the people you have neglected for so long: America’s affluent white males.

The Admissions Office has covertly been avoiding this confrontation despite increasing evidence that the rich-upperclass-male, or RUM, has been denied equal consideration in applications. This has led to the rallying cry of “But why’s the RUM gone?” among those who have managed admission despite discrimination. The powers that be, with their blatantly disproportionate policies, have not succeeded in killing the activist spirit of this culturally sensitive group.

Dean of Admissions Bruce Poch has taken a valiant stand in defense of white RUM’s rights. “It just hurts, you know?” he stated in a recent interview. “I walk into the dining hall, and I just don’t see my people. I don’t feel like I have anywhere to belong to.” This sentiment speaks for the atmosphere of injured confusion that prevails over the few of his brethren that walk our campus.

The situation recently came to a head during a proposal for “OWSA,” or Office of White Student Affairs. Senior Dick Johnson gave a brilliant speech to a crowd of about eight on the steps of Big Bridges last week, in which he proclaimed his intentions “to unite our people in a community where we are no longer expected to hide our heritage,” and suggested a quiet football game to promote a unity that he believed would ease some of the tensions stressing the campus. His boys are planned to be released from the hospital within the week.

By denying affluent white males their place at Pomona, the College severely limits the opportunities for other groups to meet and interact with this underappreciated community. In an effort to address these increasingly glaring issues of inequity, Pomona brought in Dr. Jeanette Woodburn, a racial relations expert from Stanford University, to assess the situation.

“It’s an atrocious state of affairs,” Dr. Woodburn snarled over her tea. “This is bigger than simply denying some guys a college education. You ever think about the females? The women attending Pomona in pursuit of their M-R-S, now – it’s a slap in their collective feminine face, this lack of eligible young white men with enough money to keep them in Prada for the rest of their natural lives.”

It is difficult to understand why Pomona would take this extremely negative position towards the RUM, although the College has made some pathetic attempts to disguise their discrimination with certain choice administration appointments. When asked for a statement, President Oxtoby replied, “Dude, I was so surprised when I got this job here. I’d been unemployed for a while...you know, like, no one wanted me. People got some messed up ideas sometimes, you know? I guess now they’re trying to tone down this rumor that, if you’re a white guy, you don’t stand a chance.”

There is also the considerable concern that by avoiding the inclusion of these white males in the student body, Pomona is taking a dangerous political stance that could result in successive generations of well-educated women and minorities attempting to gain political office. It is a terrible thing to obstruct tradition. The fine reign of white males in the American government has demonstrated its impressive control of media manipulation and admirable ability to ignore facts. Such qualities are not to be scoffed at in a world that is increasingly confused by issue exposure.

The numbers prove the increasingly disturbing drift in admissions policies. The percentage of Caucasians in the class of 2006 is a full percentage point lower than that of the class of 2005. If this trend continues, there will not be a single white person on Pomona’s campus after 60 years. If Pomona wishes to stay at the top of the college charts, it will have to seriously reconsider its policies concerning the white RUM.