A Few Suggestions from Yours Truly
From The Editor

Well, well, well, its that time again when the fine folks at The Student Life have a scathing, sarcastic, and occasionally funny issue where we get to address the real things going on around campus. I will take this opportunity to address something that’s no joke- The Student Life, and how to get your concerns about TSL heard by the managing staff around these parts.

Firstly, as much as all of you enjoy giving me dirty looks when I’m trying to go about my daily life, they are pretty useless. The first week or two that my fine enemies shot me these sidewise glances and scowls, I was moderately entertained. However, now its just tiresome. I know that more and more less and less of you like me, but a dirty look is hardly a medium with which to communicate this.

Similarly, avoiding eye contact with me is also ridiculous. Business is business, and normal life is normal life. If you are that enveloped by your own affairs that you can not even look at me at a party or when you’re cruising for a slice of pizza in the dining hall. Get over yourself. Let’s make this a gentlemanly existence, admitting our differences in the tavern while dueling in the mean streets of Pomona College.

Secondly, speaking of parties, approaching me drunk late one weekend night with business concerns is about the last way I will even begin to care about what you think. Between thesis and the behemoth time commitment that is The Student Life, I get to enjoy myself very rarely, usually only a handful of hours spread across a few nights. So bringing up business during the less than 20 hours a week that I get to enjoy myself is attune to getting a prostate exam from a high excommunicated convict- not fun.

Thirdly, for a newspaper that people constantly complain about, there are an awful lot of you out there that continue to read enough of it to bitch about it nonstop. Let’s not punk out here people, either hate the paper and stop reading it, or not. Just make a decision, readers. If your life has no better amusement than to read the paper that I hold so dear every week and later bitch to your friends about it, then just give up. Pick up a hobby, like masturbation. It’s far more satisfying. Trust me.

Lastly, any sort of passive-aggressive tactic like tearing up newspapers in front of my door, writing angry emails, leaving naughty phone messages, and the like are all rather childish and ineffective.

I suggest you take your concerns to the staff, not jus the tired Editor-in-Chief, who is responsible for surprisingly little of this publication’s content. Call or email the section editors who ran a certain piece that you dislike. Or just let it be.

The Student Life makes mistakes, misspellings, and occasionally steps on a few toes. When was the last time you turned in an entire paper without one mistake? What about twelve broadsheet pages with graphics, all under intense scrutiny and pressure, as you struggle to use an increasingly meager budget and strained resources to produce information for the masses? I didn’t think so. So shut the hell up. Cheers!