I.M. Water Polo Names Champion

By HAILEY ANDERSON
Sports Editor

The Inner Tube Water Polo Championship that took place on September 30 at Haldeman Pool will go down as one of the most impassioned and intense athletic events ever to grace the Pomona College campus. The heavily favored Slippery Porcupines were eliminated in the semifinals, and the team called Erin Kahle went on to defeat Lyon 1 and take home the coveted championship.

The top two teams from each league, Blue and Black, participated in the tournament: Lyon 1 and Harwood 2 of the Blue League, and the Slippery Porcupines and Erin Kahle of the Black League. The Porcupines went into the tournament with a 4-0 record, the only undefeated team in the final four.

In the first semifinal match-up, Lyon 1 rolled over Harwood 2 to become Blue League Champions. Erin Noble ’07 of Lyon commented on the victory: “We’re just a rag-tag group of freshmen ripping it up.”

The Harwood 2 team was distraught at the loss – some blamed inexperience, while others some noted poor officiating.

“All I can do is fall off my tube,” complained Kirsten Rasmussen ’07.

“Number 14 [of Lyon 1] splashed a girl in the eye,” said Emily Knouf ’07 , who wanted a foul called on the play.

“It is a game of fierce competition, mucsle-y bodies, and rubbery tubes,” said Artie Maier ’07. The Lyon 1 team would have to muster all of their fierceness, muscle-iness, and rubbery-ness in the championship game later that night.

The second semifinal was the upset of the evening – perhaps even the upset of the century. The highly touted Slippery Porcupines, called “the culmination of human aquatic evolution” by team member Bryant Cannon ’06, arrived at Haldeman Pool confident and composed.

When asked how the Porcupines had managed to be so successful during the regular season, Cannon, who could not play at the Championship, said, “As the team’s official sultry temptress, I feel like I should make it clear that if it wasn’t for the sublimation of our collective libinal energies the Slippery Porcupines would not have had the success that we have garnered. It is my job to aid in sublimating the sexual tension that the typical college student experience and turn it into the powerful overwhelming steamroller that is the Slippery Porcupine Water Polo Club.”

“I think one of the main components of our success has been our incredible defensive record,” said team leader Cameron Blume ’06. “We have allowed only 5 goals in 4 games. Some critics would point to the fact that three of those games have been forfeit victories. I however would like to credit our incredible keeper James Solomon ’06, and the rest of our defensive unit, Sophomores Amelia Huck, Peter Ellingboe, and David Levine.”
“Last year we went 2-6,” noted Blume. “We knew we needed to improve, so we made two key off-season signings. The first was Ashley Gucinski ’06, an incredible utility player from the Women’s Water Polo team. The second was Jonder Ho ’06, our scoring leader.”

Blume also credits the devoted fans of the Slippery Porcupines for their contributions to the team’s confidence and moral.

“The reason I come,” said Ellen Perkins ’06, “is to see them in the hats.” While many would say that the hats make the players resemble a certain male prophylactic, Ellen asserted that they make the players look like Princess Leah.

Before the game, Natalie Smith ’06, said that the Porcupines were optimistic about the night’s events.

“If we play well tonight we will definitely win the championship,” said Smith. “We are very confident, very athletic. It should be an exciting game.”

And an exciting game it was, as the juggernaut that is Erin Kahle jumped out to a quick lead and did not relinquish it. Erin Kahle, made up of many inhabitants of the Harwood Patios, proved to be too much for the Slippery Porcupines. They sent the Porcupines and their fans home with nothing to show for their undefeated regular season.

“Their girls killed us,” said Smith, in reference to the unstoppable front line of Erin Kahle.

The sophomore men and women of Erin Kahle then went on to face a Lyon 1 team made up mostly of freshmen. In an act of pure dedication and sacrifice, Lyon team member Buster Zalkind stayed to play in the championship, despite a time conflict with the Gilmore Girls episode he was eagerly awaiting.

“It’s hard for me to watch the show now; the idyllic world of Stars Hollow, Connecticut was spoiled when Rory broke up with Dean. Stars Hollow just isn’t Stars Hollow when Rory and Dean aren’t together. I, for one, have not been able to have a relationship since Rory dumped Dean,” said Zalkind. “So, If we win tonight, it’s for Dean.”

Erin Kahle came out strong in the first half of the match, building a lead that Lyon 1 would not overcome even with their commendable attempt to recover in the heated second half.

Despite immense amounts of “Lyon Pryde,” the Lyon team let Dean down in true Rory Gilmore fashion and Erin Khale became the 2003 Pomona -Pitzer Inner Tube Water Polo Champions.

“In the end the sophomores [Erin Kahle] won, but everyone had a great time and can’t wait until next season,” Zalkind said.