Speechwriters Duo 'Attuned' to Each Other
By Jenny Mertz-Shea
News Associate

No Whammy, No Whammy at All
By Ji H Chong
A&F Editor

Knowledge Constructed
By Lindsay Norcott
Staff Writer

Relax, Your Body Is Acceptable
By Lori DesRochers
Staff Writer

Renee Zellweger Out of Tune in Chicago
By Jonathan Schwartz
Contributing Writer

100th Window Sounds Like the First 99
By Chris Meyer
A&F Associate

Series Outlasts Everyone, Doesn't Pay Actors
By Cory Forsyth
A&F Associate

Money for Nothing Worth the Admission Price: Zero
By Lori DesRochers
Staff Writer

A Very Short Story
By Peter Cook
Copy Editor

Alto Palato Palatable
By Eli Penberthy
Copy Editor

Poem of the Week
By Claire Becker, Nathan Fisher and Jared O. Maliga
Copy Editor

1. Tuesday nights.

2. Queueing up.

3. Zoloft.

4. Why are (heterosexual) blonde girls' (and homosexual blonde boys') belly buttons bruised? Because (heterosexual) blonde boys aren't that smart either.

5. Asking seniors on sex dates.

6."Pre-partying."

7. Comic books.

8. Death.

1. South campus.

2.Waiting in line.

3. Premature ejaculation.

4. Deconstructing blonde jokes and otherwise trying to eliminate sexism and heterosexism within the genre.

5. Asking seniors what their "next-year plan" is.

6. "Front-loading."

7. Graphic novels.

8. Life.