Bush Observes Own Ten Commandments
By Frances Howe, San Bernadino

The Ten Commandments of George Walker Bush

1. YOU SHOULD WORSHIP NO OTHER GOD. Except I have over $10,000,000 in assets. Except I want churches to receive federal tax dollars. Except I have ignored the golden rule throughout my life.

2. YOU SHOULD NOT MAKE YOURSELVES ANY IDOLS. Except I want to put a fallible Star Wars systems into the heavens. Except I have glorified the warlike throughout my life. Except I condoned my party budgeting $4.2 billion or $17 per American for bomb shelters.

3. YOU SHALL NOT USE THE NAME OF THE LORD YOUR GOD IN VAIN. Except I have used profanity throughout my adult life. Except I have regularly rebuked the spirit of Jesus Christ. Except I condoned Reagan making major decisions based on astrology.

4. REMEMBER TO OBSERVE THE SABBATH. Except I have seldom gone to church regularly in my adult life. Except I have vacationed or campaigned, as President, more than 1 day out of 3. Except I have not practiced faith, hope, and charity.

5. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER. Except I was a lazy and mediocre student. Except I lived off the name of my father for over a decade. Except I went golfing in Florida during my daughter's emergency appendectomy.

6. YOU SHALL NOT KILL. Except I have condoned 15,000,000 malnutrition deaths per year. Except I do not favor stronger gun control laws. Except I tried to drastically weaken the Endangered Species Act.

7. YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY. Except I was a womanizer for over a decade. Except I have done nothing about TV pornography and promiscuity. Except I have done nothing about the proliferation of X-rated movies and videos.

8. YOU SHALL NOT STEAL. Except I gave 43% of the tax cut to the wealthiest 1% of the population. Except I eliminated the estate tax for billionaires. Except I used stealthy tactics to steal the election in Florida.

9. YOU SHALL NOT LIE. Except I did not tell the truth about my DWI record. Except I have said, when budgeting, that the U.S. is weak militarily. Except I have repeatedly said I am a compassionate person.

10. YOU SHOULD NOT COVET YOUR NEIGHBOR'S POSSESSIONS. Except I have largely ignored the warming of the earth, everyone's possession. Except I changed a 127 billion dollar surplus into a 150 billion deficit. Except I have demonstrated apathy (not love) of 2 billion poor neighbors.