Letter from the Editor: Death and War, and What They Mean for the People We Know

My grandmother died quite suddenly on Tuesday evening. Her name was Irene Hernandez and she was 75 years old. She is survived by her husband, eight children, nine grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren. When my mother called to tell me the news, I was devastated. I cried all night, and most of Wednesday. You see, my grandmother and I were very close; she was an integral part of my childhood and my life. She devoted her life to her family, and we all loved her more than words can describe.

When someone we love dies, it is easy for us to recognize the beauty and magic of our loved one's particular life. People we know and care about are real and immediate. They have faces, names, and souls. Sometimes, the more removed we are from someone who dies, the more numb we become to death. I know that on some level, this is natural. For example, when the space shuttle Columbia exploded, many of us were shocked and saddened, but that sadness was peripheral. We could look up the names and biographies of the crew member on the Internet, but they weren't really part of our lives. Yet, as a nation, the explosion was considered a great tragedy, which it is.

Unfortunately, as the distance increases, the apathy increases. As an individual who supports peace, and has been vehemently opposed to the potential invasion of Iraq, I try to remind others that the "casualties," "fatalities," and "collateral damage" the media and government talk of mean lives lost. They need to understand that Iraq is not a fictional place; the people who will die when we bomb Baghdad are real people with real families and real lives. What I was forced to confront on Tuesday was that I cannot grasp the horror of war, or of the deaths of all those people either.

My grandmother died unexpectedly, but her life was not taken by a bomb. I feel sadness down to my core, but I have the luxury of not feeling anger or fear along with it. I will not wake up tomorrow knowing that another nation's military could take my life or the lives of those around me at any moment. I was consumed with grief for my loss, but I cannot imagine the emotions that would consume me if she had died as the result of war. And I probably will never know what the fear and anger feels like. I don't wish to know it, I just wish no one had to.

While we engage in discussions of "foreign policy" and "national security," we cannot limit ourselves to euphemisms. War kills people of all kinds, not just soldiers. When we choose to wage war, we commit that act with the full knowledge that real people will die. On the other side of the world, someone else's life will be shattered, and that loss is just as real to them as it is to us.

I am not trying to use my grandmother's death as an opportunity to teach a lesson or to push my politics. I just got to thinking about all those other people....