Playboy spokesman Randy Bucks admitted today that they never thought Harwood Halloween was all that great.
The announcement came after numerous complaints from Playboy readers disappointed by the early shutdowns and various other shortcomings at a party once included in Playboy's top ten list of college parties around the country. The party was removed from the list in 1987, when, according to Bucks, "The list guy got dumped by that girl from CCLA he was shacking up with, and then he decided the charade had gone far enough."
The Playboy mystique has continued to buoy unreasonable expectations of pornaliciousness at Harwood Halloween up to the present day.
Bucks claimed that Playboy's editors had been suspicious all along of including a party at a small, academically rigorous liberal arts school in the list, which included such notorious party schools as the University of Florida and UC Santa Barbara.
"I just stuck Harwood in there for Mindy," said list-guy Hugh Djmember, "she was always like 'we're gonna throw this great Halloween party next to a dorm called Harwood, so it's called Harwood Halloween, you should put it on the list,' and I was like, 'Whatever.' But she kept nagging me so finally I did. That was way back in like, '84 I think. She even made me go one time and there where all these nerds listening to Devo or something."
Mindy "Sugar Lips" Spriggs '87, who was involved in CCLA planning for Harwood Halloween from 1984 to 1987 denied that her relationship with Djmember was a factor in Playboy's inclusion of the party on its top ten list. "I don't care what Hugh said, Playboy loved Harwood. He always tried to pretend he was doing me all these special favors, but the fact is that everyone knew that Pomona was the rockinest place on the West Coast. Except for maybe Rick Springfield's house. That was just the rockinest place on Earth," said Spriggs.
Playboy also released an internal study November 4, 1986, comparing Harwood Halloween to the average Playboy party. The release of this study put pressure on Djmember to remove Harwood from the list, and after his breakup with Spriggs the change was all but assured.
Party-goers of today have reacted to the announcement with little surprise.
Andy Whittle '03 said of the fabled list,
"I always thought that was made up. I mean come on, the freshmen fuckability factor has never been more than four. Maybe five, tops."
In an effort to regain the national prestige of the Playboy listing, CCLA officials have indicated that they will be making a number of changes next year. The party will go "all night long," rather than the conventional 11 p.m. or at best 1 a.m., and will be held on a private stretch of beach owned by the trustees. Thongs will be distributed at the door, and the premier screening of "Cecil's Hen House Holiday" will take place at midnight.
