What follows is an exploration of the penis, written from
a female voice, intended primarily for a female audience,
who might find the insights gleaned herein useful in their
quotidian lives.
“When I was [on vacation with my parents] after my sophomore
year, this was right at the height of my sexual drive, when
I really wanted to masturbate all the time, it was a much
stronger drive then, it was very physical. It was hard to
control. One day we went on a camel drive and somehow I got
an erection on this camel.”
“Cuz of the hump?”
“Yeah, I think it was just one of those kind of random
ones. There was no way for me to situate myself and the camel
has this really bouncy gait you know and it was just rubbing
me against it, and I was trying to push myself or turn around.”
“But it just kept turning him on.”
“Yeah it did, it was this purely physical thing I couldn’t
stop it.”
“So what happened man?”
“The camel jacked me off.”
There is so much to be learned about the penis. The penis
for example at times can just plain get in the way. Thus we
see readjustment. Especially during baseball games. We don’t
see the more skilled who are able to adjust with minimal fanfare.
There is at times the unexpected erection that will necessitate
some finagling. When in this situation, there are several
ways to deal with it.
One way is the “talk down.” Apparently some men,
by simply by imploring their penis to behave can take care
of the issue. Another more interesting and inventive maneuver
is to simply accept the erection and tuck it into a waist
band or belt. In this situation a baggy shirt or sweatshirt
is usually convenient.
One anonymous interview yielded a perspective on general arousal
as also being a time when a penis can become a nuisance. He
notes, “If I could not think about girls there would
be so much space for me to [become] great.”
And here is one issue that women probably do not give enough
thought to: peeing in public can be an interesting experience.
Another anonymous penis possessor explained the pressures
of public urination. Apparently peeing in a stall is unacceptable
and unmanly, but what is a shy pee-er to do? Even if one does
choose to use the urinal, there is a definite code of conduct
regarding spacing. Standing right next to a guy, as sometimes
happens in a crowded toilet, each with penis in hand can be
a tense moment.
Oh, the penis can be an enigmatic little fellow.
Speaking of little, no discussion of the penis can be complete
without a discussion of size. While I have never heard a woman
complain about size, it remains an unavoidable variable, and
few people escape from feeling the need to measure up.
While comparisons between friends, whether as a joke or a
serious venture (or even personal comparison with the well-known
average of about five inches) may not have preoccupied the
people that were interviewed, it was nevertheless a familiar
topic.
Fortunately, there is the handy excuse of being a “grower”
as opposed to a “shower.” A shower is a penis that
in repose is large, while a grower is a term used for penises
that only show their true dimensions when stimulated. And
as though length were not enough for anyone to worry about,
those who are recipients of the penis are now beginning to
struggle for a discourse in which to discuss girth of the
penis as an important factor as well.
It is not only size that comprises the aesthetic of the penis.
Those interviewed expressed a general disapproval of the look,
calling it in general an “ugly” thing that disrupts
the continuity of the male body. One contributor to the look
of the penis is the state of the foreskin.
A circumcised penis in the United States is seen as more seemly,
or at least normal, whereas those who are still in possession
of their foreskins are faced with a particular anxiety whilst
in intimate situations. And lest we imagine that only women
worry about hair on their genitals, one interviewee mentioned
the aesthetics as well as physical pleasures associated with
“shorn balls.” Oh, the nutty penis.
