The weekend was finally here. After an extraordinarily long week, the last way I really wanted to spend my free time was sitting through five total hours of dizzying drives, having serious discussions about important racial issues. Even though I realized the severity of the racial problem, I didn’t believe that going on the AAMP retreat would change anything. But I had already promised my mentors that I would attend, so at 8 am on a Saturday morning, I dragged myself out of bed, put together an overnight bag, and settled into the comfortable car of one of my AAMP friends.

The ride up was full of twists and turns, which, in conjunction with lack of sleep, caused carsickness and grouchiness in many of the passengers. However, as soon as we reached the retreat grounds and took our first breath of crisp mountain air, a sort of euphoric peace (or, in certain cases, hyperactivity) settled upon us.

A rousing game of "The Blanket Name Game" was held, during which butts were stuck in people’s faces, pants and shirts were removed, and (most importantly), names were learned. Immediately following the game, the entire group of fifty-some people was taken outside for some quiet reflection. A group of three mentors read a series of statements such as "I am Asian," "I am American," "I date only within my ethnic group," "I believe that AAMP is necessary in Pomona College," and other controversial assertions that each person was forced to silently choose to either agree with or disagree with completely. During this time, I observed many of my peers struggling with the decisions that they were forced to make, many of them verbally requesting an "I’m not sure" or "kind of" option. This self-reflective exercise forced the participants to face blunt and uncomfortable questions and to make instantaneous decisions about their self-identity.

This exercise was followed by a short session where we had a chance to express our feelings about the exercise. Watching my friends express the difficulties that they had in dealing with these questions really drove home for me the fact that not everyone is as secure in their multicultural heritage as they might seem to be.

We then proceeded quickly onto a series of presentations about the history of Asian-American activism on the Pomona College and other 5-C campuses. Events ranging from the very beginning of the Asian American Mentor Program through a time when racist and ignorant posters that had been posted around campus in 1999 were presented by groups of freshmen and discussed. The unwavering presence of ignorance on our own campus was revealed, and I was shocked and disgusted by how prevalent these bigoted actions and mentalities are, even in our sheltered environment.

The freshmen were given a few hours of free time to spend in the retreat home. A few of us played card games while others took walks or continued the discussions in a more casual manner. I spent the afternoon playing Taboo with some unfamiliar AAMP members, and realized that my first impressions of a few of the people were completely wrong, and that they were actually the warmest, goofiest, and most playful people that I have yet met.

The final workshop was on Asian stereotypes. The mentors in charge of the workshop prepared an eye-opening, personal way for each of us to realize which stereotypes actually apply to us individually. Then the mentors explained ways that we could work to break down these stereotypes

After the workshops, we were given the choice of either sleeping or joining in on various social activities (early morning run to Denny’s, Mafia until 6 am, and so on). Bonds were formed between various members of AAMP that normally wouldn’t associate.

My modest expectations from the AAMP retreat were exceeded by the meticulous planning and care of the mentors. Through these simple workshops, I was once again whacked in the face by the not-so-perfect realities of our society.