Relationships, by nature, are complicated. At Pomona, they definitely take the cake in the complexity department. In college, there is so much other stuff going on that no one ever really has time to think about their love life–well, not during the week, at least. The weekends, on the other hand, are a completely different story. Every Friday evening, without fail, the booty-seeking begins as the weekend parties begin to get underway. This is pretty much a rough outline of a typical Pomona College student’s weekend night ….

At approximately 9:30 pm, the average Pomona College student goes out and attends the evening’s "pre-parties," (which is actually just a fancy name for places to get free alcohol so you can "loosen" up before the actual party starts); at 11:30 p.m., or whenever they feel drunk enough, they attend the actual party, and, for the next hour and a half they wander around aimlessly trying to find someone to hook up with for the night. Every weekend, it’s the same thing….get drunk, attend regularly scheduled party, have a random hook-up (or not–depending on your luck that evening). Where’s the romance in that?!

Whatever happened to dating as a means to find the one person you’re meant to be with? Sure, hook-ups are fun, but they lead you in no specific direction; they are, in essence, pointless moments of passion and nothing else. Yeah right, like that’s all a girl has ever wanted, to hook up with a boy who is so drunk off his ass that he can’t even say her name right, and who most likely won’t even remember it or care enough to try in the morning. As Natalia Averret ’04 puts it, "Drunken hook-ups are the worst. Sex when you’re drunk is sloppy and unsatisfying. Why have sex at all if it’s just gonna be bad and not very enjoyable for the both of you?" Yet dozens of students attend each of these lame parties every weekend in the hopes of finding that special someone. And why do they do it? Maybe it’s just denial on their part, in thinking that somewhere within the drunken mass lies their perfect match. Whatever coerces these students to go through this whole ritual over and over every weekend, it can a get a little tedious.

So, is there any alternative to this monotonous life of party-hopping and engaging in random hook-ups every weekend? Some lucky Pomona students have found solace in coupling off early on in their Pomona College careers. Most of the couples who manage to reach the six month mark or beyond, and continue to be happy, met under non-alcoholic influenced circumstances. They either met through their sponsor group, mutual friends, at meals, etc. Some were even lab partners!

The benefits of this type of hook-up? Well, they don’t have to go through the whole weekend ritual to "get some," and it’s just nice to have that kind of special connection with somebody. The downside? Well, you can’t exactly act on your impulse when you see a cute guy at a dance and want to go talk to him; you’re obviously more limited as to how you can interact with other guys. All in all, however, most people seem to think the benefits override the disadvantages. One sophomore girl remembers engaging in the whole "party-hopping to look for hot guys" routine, but now she says she’s happier, and definitely less preoccupied with the whole concept of "guy-getting." She still parties, of course; she would never forfeit bad dance music for a guy, but now she’s able to concentrate on more important things, like dancing and having a fun time - something a lot of people often forget to do when they’re all caught up in the idea of finding someone. It all comes with knowing that you have someone to come back to; it’s definitely comforting.

There are still others who have chosen a different route, and who, in my opinion are extremely strong-willed individuals. These are the people who basically decided within their first days here that there just isn’t anyone at Pomona who even remotely compares to what they have back home and have decided to maintain a long-distance relationship with their sweetheart. Sarah Myers ’04 for instance, affirms that she is very happy and lucky to have someone like her boyfriend, who lives in Sweden, and that she has not yet met anyone here she would give him up for.

Finally, there are certain people ho have decided that the "friends with benefits" route is the only way to go. According to Natalia, friends with benefits are extremely convenient because you get to do all the fun stuff that couples do, without any of the pain and complicated feelings involved. Not only that, but you are also not officially attached so that if the right guy were to come your way, you can move in on him guilt-free. And, who knows, maybe after spending some time with your "friend," you’ll realize that perhaps there may be something there that can develop into a wonderful, long-lasting relationship. The downside? According to Natalia, there aren’t any. But a warning to all, this is only recommended for the gusty enough who can carry out the "friends with benefits" talk. when the time is right.

So for those of you trying to find a way out of this weekend party hook-up rut, these are your options. Choose carefully, and good luck.