I’ll be honest: I had perfectly solid plans of leaving the Talking SMAC program right after signing in on Sunday morning. I had no doubt that the program was a completely valid and important program, just not for me. After all, I’m Chinese! How racist could I be?

I was disappointed when I saw the signs saying that we wouldn’t be signing in until the end of the program. While I was debating with myself whether or not I should stay, one of the SMAC members whom I knew from other clubs around campus saw me and began chatting with me. There was no way I could escape after that! So I reluctantly resigned my afternoon to the event.

The afternoon was divided into four discussion sessions. The first session was in the segregated groups: white students, students of color, and multi-racial or bi-racial students. Then, the concentric circles session took place, where one racial group of students would sit in the inner circle and have a discussion, while the other racial group would sit around the inner circle and observe the discussion without contributing to it. The third session was back in the segregated groups, where the students had a chance to respond to the fishbowl discussion, and review what important points were established. Finally, the last discussion was a large mixed group where students of color, multi- and bi-racial students, and white students had a chance to discuss the important issues that surround racism and prejudice in our country.

At the beginning of the program, some antagonism could be sensed in the discussions. Both white students and students of color complained about having to spend the entirety of their Sunday afternoons in the discussion groups. One notable freshman, Nate Tate, wrote "Dirty Racist" across his nametag, arousing some negative reactions. "Some people feel that I did it to make fun of people who claim that racism exists. That wasn’t the case. I did it because I wanted people to express their beliefs and feelings without the fear of being called a racist."

The reactions to the program were extremely varied. "You guys see things in ways that I just never could," said a white student in my group during the closing discussion. A few white students in my discussion group seemed to be truly affected by the discussion, and pleaded for suggestions about what they could do personally to alleviate the effects of racism.

While some students kept their initial perception that the day was mundane and too long, most other students realized the value of the event by the end of the day. "The discussions were awesome," said Tate. "We were forced to realize how racism is a real, serious problem in our society". "It sucked. It was a total waste of time," said one member of my discussion group.

Personally, I am really grateful to the SMAC crew for delaying the sign-in time until the end of the day. During the mixed group discussions, I was able to watch a specific white student completely change his mind about the importance of racism in our country. In the beginning of the discussion, he seemed to be in complete denial about the existence of racism in our lives. During the closing discussions, however, I witnessed how he had completely changed his mind about the severity of this problem.

As valuable an experience as it was, I still wish the SMAC crew had moved the event earlier in the academic calendar to a time not infested with papers and midterms. Additionally, I think that if the event weren’t advertised to be so long, more freshmen would have attended this important learning event. I do feel that the length of time was necessary, especially because even with such a long time, a lot of topics were only skimmed, and no solid conclusions were really made on any topic. Also, many students mirrored Tate’s sentiment that "The first half of the discussions were a total waste of time. People were too concerned with being PC and with not being accused of being racist." I feel like the most beneficial parts of the conversation were when the groups were not segregated, during the fishbowl session and the final mixed group discussion.

The catch in the Talking SMAC program is that a student has to personally decide to participate, to learn from and to enjoy the discussions. A closed minded student will rarely enjoy the experience, whereas an open-minded student is likely to be inspired and edified by the event.