Friday, September 21, 2001

4:00 PM

Subject: stuff I need

Dear Mom,

Could you send me either my passport or birth certificate? The bio department needs a copy of one or both of them before they can hire me. I don’t know where my passport is if you guys don’t have it, but I imagine you do have my birth certificate. They just need to photocopy it so I’d be sending it right back.

Thanks,

Kevin

Saturday, September 22, 2001

2:21 PM

Subject: stuff I need

Dear Kevin,

I know we have your passport because I saw it recently, but it is expired, so you can have it anyway. I think we have the birth certificate too. Are you sure you can handle two jobs?

Love,

Mom

P.S. study hard.

Tuesday, September 25, 2001

8:34 AM

Subject: stuff I need

Kevin

Your mother sent along your passport yesterday. She says you need it for your second job’s hiring paperwork. Don’t you already have a job with the computer people on campus? You should stick with that one if you hope to make any money after you graduate. Working in the bio department won’t help you do anything other than grad school, which I hope you aren’t planning on considering the number of Ph.Ds who are currently unemployed.

Furthermore, your mother and I may have agreed to support you through four years of undergraduate education, but we didn’t plan on having you suckle on the proverbial teat for god knows how long until you earn your doctorate. At this rate you’ll be the most highly educated shoe salesman at Nordstrom’s. Although as a Pomona grad, you might not want to set your sights so high. They probably only hire drug-addicted slackers who had the good sense to waste their parent’s money on at least an Ivy League education.

Dad