President George W. Bush called upon past favors to convince his younger brother, Florida Governor Jeb Bush, to pardon former Yankee, Giant, Dodger, and Met slugger Darryl Strawberry yesterday. Now Bush has only to convince Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig to rescind Strawberry’s yearlong ban before he can hit for the Texas Rangers. It is unclear how effectively Strawberry will be after his extended absence and continued problems with cocaine, but Bush will not let a potential power hitter escape Texas’s grasp again.

Writing for the sports page is not the most exciting thing in the world, let me tell you. Probably much in the same way that reading the sports page is not the most exciting thing in the world. Just like my feet.

This is something that I rediscover weekly as my editor tells me I have to write some god awful article on some sport no one really cares about… like anything involving a ball or uniforms…

The Portland Trail Blazers made some amazing moves in the last year to improve on last year’s conference finalist. Who could have thought that the Blazers could convince Cleveland to allow lean, mean jumping-machine Shawn Kemp to return the Northwest? Or steal all-around good guy Rod Strickland? Portland is not a team to rest on its laurels and a source inside the organization has leaked that GM is in secret negotiations for two highly sought after superstars, Derrick Coleman and Isiah Rider.

Softball is quite a misnomer. Having been hit by more than a few, I can vouch that they are anything but soft. Yet, this ball is softer than many other variety of balls, and I would much rather get hit by a "soft" ball than, say, a "bowling" ball or a "wrecking" ball; both of which, I might add, are accurately named. Although, come to think of it, getting hit by either a bowling ball or a wrecking ball would both wreck you and bowl you over, so the names of those two should, by all rights, be interchangeable.