A group of four protestors have taken the next step in a "no compromise" stance in negotiations over an orgy with four residents of a Clark V quad by u-locking themselves to the doors of the quad late Saturday night.

"I’m not leaving until I get some," protest leader Lenny Molina ’03 said. "Fuck that. I’m not leaving until I get a lot. This is an action for action. Sex first! No compromise!"

The residents of the quad were confused. "I was talking to Ryan Hattersley ’01 at a party, asking him if he wanted to come back to my quad," Julia Kristeva ’02 explained. "Then this kid Lenny comes up and demands ‘representation at the negotiations,’ saying that he’s an ‘interested party’ or ‘interested in partying’ or some shit. Then I joked that we could all go back to the room, and I’d get my roommates in on it, too."

"My first reaction was ‘this is exactly what I thought college would be like,’" Molina said.

Kristeva left shortly after that with Hattersley to go to another party. Molina quickly assembled a group of three friends for what he only described as "the best cause ever," according to a locked-down Matthew Gerhart ’07.

Molina contends that what Kristeva has dubbed a joke is, in fact, a verbal contract. "I can’t believe she’s trying to reneg on that. I’m here to enforce that agreement in a non-violent manner."

The media were also in evidence, taping the chants of "No piece? No justice! Orgify like Ceasar Augustus!" Camera crews from Anabolic Videos were present, having received a press release promising "hot group action."

The spectacle surprised a drunken Kristeva upon her return with Hattersley. She quickly sought the help of CUC President Brenda Barham Hill.

"I’ve participated in nonviolent demonstrations before," Barham Hill said. "It was the 1960s. It made sense. I’ve even participated in orgies before. But those orgies involved ludes, weed and cheap whiskey, not cockades and u-locks. I’ve advised Julia not to give in."

The precedent, however, is on the side of the protesters. Last May, a group of students soft-blockading a room were able to reach a compromise of blow jobs.

"If I were Julia, that’s where I’d meet them," Barham Hill said. "At blow jobs."

Kristeva’s suitemates are undecided, however. Two of them staunchly oppose any compromise. The third, Denise Shannon ’02, feels differently.

"C’mon guys. It could be fun," she said. "Plus, they seem to be into bondage. I wouldn’t mind u-locking Lenny to my headboard."

As the protest moves into its second day, the women are sleepless and four men even more resolute. Hattersley, uncertain of the outcome, is sure of only one thing: "That cock blocking son of a bitch is gonna pay."