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April 27, 2001
Copyright 2001
Pomona College








Pot Day, 2001 Oh yes you will





Courtesy of "My Internet."


Planeteers stick it to Ronny McDonald. They fucked his shit up. He was such a jack-off.



Jake-Oken-Berg does not smoke POT. He does not get the munchies either. He is a superhuman being, capable of remarkable feats of self-deprivation. No, you cannot be Jake Oken-Berg. But you can try...



Claremont Youths Are Stupid, Shitheads



In an unprecedented discovery, last weekend, TSL came across these dumb Claremont kids driving their TRUCK through the MUD (Wet stuff was involved. The Smith Campus Center was not). Apparently, Claremont does not end at Foothill; "The rich people" live north, in the hills. The children (of the corn) were so bored the only thing they could think to do was to wallow in a pool of filth. "There so dumb, why don’t they just addict themselves to recreational drugs," asked Bobby DeRideo ‘03. Everyone seems to agree that these kids a re fucking dumb. They’re nouveau riche bourgeious scum too. Their parents have big, comma, ugly tract houses in the middle of nowhere. And a corrupt-ass city counvil too. Thur so dumb.


Soft Cockade Formed; No Compromise!
By Dan Check Out That Ass
Managing Editor

A group of four protestors have taken the next step in a "no compromise" stance in negotiations over an orgy with four residents of a Clark V quad by u-locking themselves to the doors of the quad late Saturday night.

Seery Fired, Gay?
By Bethy Can’t Cope and Scoot LamBada
Schmooz Creditors

In a secret memo to Dean of Students Ann Quinley, Dean of Being an Asshole Hans Palmer, and now-Acting Chair of Politics Betsy Crighton, which "accidentally" fell into the hands of T "do you even read this?" SL, President Peter Stanley announced the firing of Politics Professor John Seery. (And he’s gay, it said).

News Briefs
Proudly Written By Conor Friedersdorf
South Campus Senator Adam Rick was labeled ignorant at last week’s Senate meeting when he questioned the wisdom of adding a "Dynamics of Difference and Power" PAC to Pomona’s general education requirements.

Soiled Faculty Briefs
Matt Taylor
Faculty

In celebration of the successful coup d’etat election of fellow Texan and Republican George Bush to the presidency, Dean Matt Taylor has officially announced 2001 as the "Year of Me".

Goddamn It, Gretchen Peterson!
By Robin A. Porn Starr
Cub Writer

Goddammit, Gretchen Peterson, watch your phrazology. Or you’ve got trouble. Right here in River City. But we’re in Claremont where big giant babies fall from the sky.

Senate Briefs


Security Briefs



Arts & Features

Featured This Week: Susie Dudis, Pomona College ’01

Where Are They Now? A Thrilling Exploration of Drop-outs, Dead-beats and People who’s Dad’s Fuck the Dead

Time to Get Ill, Cuz B-Dog Sick

Lizzy Comes Correct On Ad

Sports

Bush Pardons Strawberry, To Join Rangers

Sports Associate Isn’t a Good Job, It Sucks

Blazers Will Continue to Trade

A Softball Is Not Soft, Discuss Among Yourselves

Opinions

An Interview with KGI President, Henry Riggs

Senators are BAaaAd!

Read it AGAIN... For the First Time

A Meeting of Friends: An original screenplay by Team OPS!!

Editorials/Letters

Ed/Let