Andrew "The Friendly Ghost" Kasper accuses TSL and myself of many things in his letter to the editor. My purpose in this letter is to address those issues. Kasper argues that the "real problem with the TSL [lies]…in how it reflects upon the college to individuals and prospective students who visit the college." My dear Kasper, are you honestly suggesting that we need to change our paper so as not to deter prospective students? Admissions is a necessity of our institution, but I say we should be ourselves and let them decide whether or nor they like us. I would caution against pretending to be something we’re not just to attract prospective students.

"Student papers depict the mood, interests, and personality of a college’s student body. From reading The Student Life, a visitor might view the Pomona student body as a group of largely sophomoric individuals." The quote goes on, but I would like to pause here for a moment. Yes, Kaspy, I am a sophomore. However, TSL is composed of students of all ages. In fact, the student body of Pomona is only about 25% "sophomoric individuals." If you pass your classes this semester, you too can be a sophomoric individual. Using big words in your letter does not impress me. Maybe it impresses the Prospectives and this alleged "visitor" to whom you seem so interested in proving yourself. Did you pause to think that maybe this "visitor" would find the article both informative and humorous? Or do you claim exclusive knowledge of the reaction of all visitors to our college? Did you pause at all? Did you think? Indeed. Who’s making shit up now?

Kasper writes, "Moreover, the poor prose of the writers calls into question the quality of Pomona education, specifically the ability of the school to develop necessary writing skills. I do not believe this is a desired representation of the college." What are you so worried about? Who are you so scared of? It’s those Prospies, isn’t it? They’ll think poorly of us if we use poor prose. Once again, your language implies that Pomona has to worry about the perception others get of the education it gives. Maybe I am not so worried, as you seem to be, about how others perceive my institution, my education, and me. And, yes, I am aware that I dangled two participles in the above questions. The beauty of that is, however, that I, unlike you, do not bind myself by arbitrary rules and structures of this language. My "poor prose" is in fact a postmodern critique of the very education you so desperately desire. I know the rules, Kasper, I choose not to use them. Why? Because. And that’s my prerogative. Two sentence fragments right there. And a contraction to boot! Call out the grammar police! I am not abiding by my fourth grade teacher’s rules of syntax! And a big word too. Poor prose. My prerogative. Indeed. Sentence fragments. See, I can use big words too. In fact, "prerogative" has both more letters and more syllables than "sophomoric." So there. Another sentence fragment. Such poor prose. Prose. Indeed.

Speaking of poor prose, here’s a lesson for you: TSL is an "abbreviation" for "The Student Life," hence it is actually "poor prose" to write "the TSL." You did this no less than three times. But that’s your prerogative. In this post-modern world, you can WriTe Howevvvvveeeerr U wont, "grammar" and "rules" be damned to the furthest reaches of Hell for all I care. Who am I to critique you after all? Well, I am the Sports Associate, and you are (were?) merely a Staff Writer, but I won’t pull rank. That would be poor prose. Indeed.

Kasper then argues that "the entire college needs to address the quality of the paper." And for the first time in his letter, he is right. The college needs to be vigilant about letting "the TSL" (sic) become the way Kasper envisions it: an overglorified admissions pamphlet.

And as for journalistic integrity, you can put that in the box they gave you when they asked you to clear out your desk. You might be able to fit it where your sense of humor would have gone.

When I called Mr. Kasper to apologize for any perceived misunderstanding, he would not even hear me out, saying only, "[Hi, this is Andrew Kasper, leave a message at the beep. BEEP.]"

To all those who were offended by the golf article, I say, "Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke," and to you, Mr. Kasper: "Hi. You’ve reached Adam Goldwyn. Get a life at the beep. BEEP."

Sincerely,

Adam Goldwyn ’03