Never Again Will he be Taunted for his Boring ‘Roid Rages

On Saturday, March 25 at 0052 a male with a 3" gash on his wrist was found near Eversole Courtyard. The man turned out to be a intoxicated guest, who, after being taunted by people in a dorm room, punched through their window. He was turned over to paramedics for treatment.

Had Anyone Seen the Taunted Guy Nearby?

On Saturday, March 25 at 0140 a student reported a broken window.

Then Both of Them Tried to Screw in a Light Bulb

On Monday, March 27 at 2158 Campus Safety noticed a U Haul down by the Sontag Greek Theater. It was missing its front license plate, prompting further investigation. When the officer approached the vehicle, two men fled. They later identified themselves as friends of a professor, who had fled because of experiences they have had with police in their native land of Poland.

Lie Down with Skate Thugs, Wake up With Road Rash

On Tuesday, March 28 at 2248 a student reported that a friend and three other males had entered his room. When the other three males left, his friend told him that he did not know who those three males were. They then noticed that the student’s skateboard was missing.

At BC Cafe, They do all This, and You Get a Stack of Pancakes the Size of a Spare Tire

On Wednesday, March 29 at 0344 officers responded to a report that two hooded people were vandalizing a car. They arrived to discover two community women had covered a car with french fries, cereal, syrup, eggs, and other breakfast products. When questioned, the women said that they were taking revenge for the way the owner of the car had treated his ex-girlfriend. The owner of the car was called. He requested that CPD respond. Eventually, the women agreed to clean the car and pay for any damages. No charges were filed.

Skate Thugs 4 Life

On Friday, March 31 at 1745 a suspect was found at the Sontag Greek Theater with a skateboard matching the description of the one previously stolen. He was identified as a community resident and turned over to CPD.

U.N.I.T.Y. Strictly Enforced at Scripps

On Sunday, March 2 at 0016 a Scripps student notified campus security that two males were calling groups of girls "bitches." Two students, one from Pitzer and one from Pomona, were identified by the responding officer.