Security Briefs
Compiled by David Roth and Ariane Balizet

"Gardening Project" + The Wash = Pot Joke Slam Dunk
On February 25 at 1708, a student reported a fire at the Wash. The responding officer found that students were having a campfire near their gardening project. They were advised that they were not allowed to start fires.
Yo, Bum Rush the Show
On February 25 at 2014, a student called Campus Safety requesting that they open the Rose Theatre, as there were a number of students outside waiting for the film. A verbal fight ensued when the student making the call refused to pay the lockout fee charged by Campus Safety. The dispute was resolved when the manager came out of the theatre, advising that the students had been locked out because the movie was full.
Putting Heads to Bed
On February 27 at 0216, a female student called Campus Safety to check on her boyfriend. They had been talking on the phone, and he had asked to her "hold on." He never came back. The RA on call was paged. He found the student asleep in his room.
For Some, The Bathroom Party Never Stops
On February 27 at 1252 a staff member reported that someone had broken into the Frary bathroom by kicking it in. The lock was broken and the wood surrounding it had been shattered.
Puck Fomona? Cuck FMC, Son.
On February 28 at 1339, a Claremont McKenna student reported damage to his car after parking it in the Lawry lot. Campus Safety deemed it a possible hit and run.
"Suspicious?" Try "True Playa." Jeez. Haters.
On February 28 at 2123, Campus Safety received a report of a suspicious man on campus. He was about 40 years old, had a beard, and was wearing purple pants. Officers were unable to locate.
Give a Dog a Bone
On February 29 at 1457, an unleashed pit bull was sighted by the Haldeman Pool. The Humane Society was contacted, but officers lost visual contact, so the Humane Society refused to come.
Leave a Dog Alone. (What?)
On March 1 at 0948, the same dog was sighted. Campus Safety determined that its owner was in a meeting by the pool.