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Drew Eastman ‘01

TSL: Is that even real?

Drew: What?

TSL: Your tattoo.

Drew: Yeah, it’s real. Don’t you have a tape recorder for this interview?

TSL: No, I have to write it as we go.

Drew: Ok.

TSL: So, is that religious?

Drew: Sort of. Yeah.

TSL: Which one?

Drew: Which tattoo?

TSL: Which religion.

Drew: The right one. The nipple is right, too.

TSL: This interview isn’t going too well. Let’s start it over.

Drew: Ok.

TSL: Is that real?

Drew: What, the nipple or the tattoo?

TSL: The tattoo.

Drew: Yeah. I got it in Juvee.

TSL: Tell me about Juvee.

Drew: There were a lot of kids.

TSL: Can you think of something funnier to say?

Drew: No, I can’t.

TSL: Well alright.

Drew: Ask me how I got the tat.

TSL: How’d you get the tattoo?

Drew: We were playing cards and I won. I earned it. If I lost I would have had to get a dolphin on my ankle. Or a Chinese symbol.

TSL: Were they of the dolphin faith?

Drew: What?

TSL: Is that real?

Drew: The nipple or the tat?

TSL: Tat.

Drew: Yeah. I got it in Juvee.

TSL: This is like a Beckett play.

Drew: That’s what I’m going for.

TSL: Ever considered a Samuel Beckett-based tattoo?

Drew: With his nipple?

TSL: What are you talking about?

Drew: I want a full-color Ghostbusters movie poster on my back.

TSL: Where are you from?

Drew: Long Beach. The LBC!

TSL: You sure are.

Drew: I got it in Juvee.

TSL: I wonder how this interview is going to turn out?

Drew: I got it in juvee.

TSL: What did you do to land in Juvee?

Drew: Ah, shit. Ok, forget it. I paid some guy $40 and said "make it look like I got this in juvee." He fucked up the bottom of it.

TSL: Say another bad word.

Drew: Dork.

TSL: A worse one.

Drew: Asshole. No, jackass. I want jackass.

TSL: Any final thoughts, juvenile?

Drew: Don’t write this down but, hey, you’re writing this down. Ok. If you are a poser, and you pay a guy to make a tattoo that looks like you got it in juvee, it looks like you got it in juvee. That’s the moral I guess.

TSL: Anything else?

Drew: Shit. I mean ass.